Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Hardest Week

Okay guys, this has been the hardest week yet of the wait. The days are slowly, very slowly going by and I keep checking for rumors but there just aren't any. Then, my agency calls today and I bring up questions like what will happen if there is something wrong with her once we get there. Will they support us? She took it wrong and is now thinking that I'm doubting the adoption. It was not a good conversation to have now at this point of the wait.

She then pretty much insisted that she needed to send the referral to my agency here who did the home study, after I stupidly mentioned it. I wish I would have kept my big mouth shut. They did the home study and now I don't have anything to do with them. I get all my support from friends, online, etc. It was stressful when it was done last time because of timing issues and they had to rush it done before their vacation and the holidays. I blurted that out too. So, now she thinks that there is a problem with them. I will have to do the post placement but I'll deal with that later. I just don't want to have them bring me into their office to view the referral. I want it delivered to the house so we can be alone with it comes. It just sucks if I have to wait even longer and delay the whole group because I will have to coordinate another meeting with the agency here. And of course, you know they will charge me for it.

I also told her that we just were not going to be able to make it to the travel meeting. We, (Matt and I) recently discussed it and decided that it just wouldn't be worth spending $800 for a four hour meeting. It's just not practical and I'd rather spend that money on her. I HATE not being able to meet my travel mates but most of the information, I pretty much already know. I just need the specifics. They can easily call me and fill me in on that. She probably thinks I'm a total nut job now.

She also made it sound like we'd only get another four days referred this time and to be prepared if I have to wait another month. She said that I could get up to a 15 month old, and wanted to know if I could transition into a toddler. I told her yes, I could do that. At this point, I'll take pretty much whatever they will give me. I just am so worn out and fed up with the whole adoption. I just want it to be done.

Sorry for the rambling. This is tough. Luckily I have plans every day until Monday. Maybe I should have saved our last vacation for this week!


Randi said...

Don't worry. It will all be ok. When you are home with Chani you won't even remember this week (ok you will, but you wont care)

RoLo said...

Ramble away that is what we are here for. I also had a bad day from the moment I got to work all I could think about was I dont want to be here I want to be at home with my baby, when am I getting my baby, when will this wait end...............needless to say it was a very long day.

Ladybug Hugs 4 U said...

HUGS, Hugs, and a few more HUGS! Randi is right, it will all be okay and you, Matt and Chani are all going to be just fine! Maybe I need to make a road trip to Canton today and take you to lunch and get your some chocolate :D Call me if you want to ramble on the phone.

Cindy said...

Kathy - We are thinking of you two this week. I know how hard this wait is and you two have waited far too long.

Kayce said...

Hugs! Feel free to ramble anytime!

kris said...

I'm SO sorry you're having such a tough time, and it bugs me your agency isn't being more supportive. I've been really lucky that way. I so hope your referral comes this time. Hang in there. There IS light at the end of this loooooong tunnel.

Tracy said...

Ugh - I am so sorry about your long week and that your agecny seems to have misunderstood your concerns. Plus - to expect you to travel that far for a meeting? Hello! It's 2007. Can't they do a teleconference on the computer or something?

Anyways, you are IN, and that is what matters most! Referral day is amazing. Enjoy every second.

DOR 9/4/07